Episode 15
LeadHer Shift Ep.15 ft. Vonetta Pierce: Owning Your Impact - 30 Years of Leadership, Legacy and Love
What does it mean to lead yourself before leading others? In this powerful episode, Alian Ollivierre sits down with educator, counselor, author, and founder of Get a Grip for Teens, Vonetta Pierce, to explore what 30 years in education has taught her about leadership, confidence, community, and the courage to rest.
🔥 From battling imposter syndrome to building a multi-state mentoring movement for girls, Vonetta shares her raw truths, leadership lessons, and how rest became her resistance.
🎙️ Inside this episode:
• Why your impact matters, even when you don’t see it yet
• The hidden cost of shrinking to fit in
• How Black women leaders can own their brilliance unapologetically
• Why comparison is the thief of joy
• The importance of community, collaboration & self-care
• What it really takes to nurture the next generation of girls
Whether you’re an educator, a mentor, or a woman rising in leadership — this conversation is your reminder: Your voice matters. Your leadership matters. You are not alone.
🔔 Subscribe to The LeadHer Shift Podcast for more episodes centering women in leadership.
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Transcript
Welcome to the Lead Her Chef podcast. This is what I like to call a safe space. A space for bold women building their power, presence, and purpose from the inside out. A space where we explore what it means to lead with clarity, courage, and conviction. So wherever you are in the world. Hey, I'm your host, Aliane Oliver, and I am super honored that you're tuning in today. So once again, we are here, another episode of the Lead Her Shift. And this guest I am super excited about, simply because, honestly, I met her.
Alian Ollivierre [:Or I don't say I met you, but we ran into each other digitally, correct, Somehow, someday, somehow. We found each other a few years ago, pre pandemic time. And this is like a really good chit chat that I'm gonna have with Vanetta Pierce, who is amazing because she's an educator for more than 20 years. She helps with counseling. She's created an organization for girls. She's just a champion for all youth, I feel. And she has two master's degrees. I mean, educated.
Alian Ollivierre [:Okay.
Vonetta Pierce [:Oh, my goodness.
Alian Ollivierre [:We gotta big up each other. Okay.
Vonetta Pierce [:So, yes.
Alian Ollivierre [:To connect with you once again. How have you been and what have you been up to?
Vonetta Pierce [:Yes. Thank you. Thank you for that amazing introduction. Well, I'm. I'm doing well. I have been. I have been enjoying life. I am entering.
Vonetta Pierce [:I cannot believe I'm saying this out loud. I want to say, technically, my 30th year of education. Okay. Which is crazy. I think it's the 28th year in this district, plus two years in another state. So I. I added. I said 30 years is crazy.
Alian Ollivierre [:Yeah.
Vonetta Pierce [:So I'm enjoying. This was the first full week of school with our students. So you can imagine it has been quite, quite busy the first week. Anyone out there who works with high schoolers, you know how it is. So I am a high school counselor, so the first week of school is definitely busy for us. I'm a recent grandmother, so that has been going on in my life, so I've been enjoying Gigi life. That has been great. Since the pandemic, my organization, Get a Grip for Teens, we've expanded into two states.
Vonetta Pierce [:So we service girls in Delaware and Pennsylvania now. So I'm excited about that. So we've developed some great partnerships over the last couple of years. Been able to service more girls. I am just kind of really settling into this place now of really being comfortable and confident in the rooms that I'm in. I think as leaders, sometimes we question, do I belong in this room? Have I paid the dues to be in this Room, our confidence gets shaken. We look around, and we look at. She's in this room, and she's in this room.
Vonetta Pierce [:But no, sis, you deserve to be in this room, too. You earned your spot.
Alian Ollivierre [:Yeah.
Vonetta Pierce [:And so I am kind of, like, in a place of comfort and confidence right now, and it feels great. Feel great.
Alian Ollivierre [:I think that's interesting, you know, because I feel like for those who might be listening, it, there's that in between. Sometimes there are times when you do feel super confident, because also, you've been in this room before, and there are times when you've never been in this space and you're not quite sure that you fit. But I'm. I'm curious, like, why now? Is it. Has it been because of experience? Has it been because you've been in those rooms and you have seen that actually, my voice does matter. Like, what has got you to the place of that level of confidence?
Vonetta Pierce [:Yeah, that's. That's a great question. Well, I will say experience and age playable. I think as women, once we reach a certain age, a certain decade, we kind of settle into our. Who we are, who we've become. We accept ourselves. And I think just reflecting on the lives I've touched and seeing the young people I've touched over the years and having them come back and say, oh, Ms. Pierce, blah, blah, blah, blah, oh, you were such a great teacher.
Vonetta Pierce [:Oh, you inspired me to do this. You inspired me to do that. And you never realize the lives that you touch. And when you. When you touch a young person's life, you are really touching a family. You're really touching a generation. And it didn't really click to me, you're touching a community. And it didn't dawn on me, I'm like, oh, I'm just counseling some girls.
Vonetta Pierce [:I'm just teaching these kids. And when the circle of life comes back, and now I'm teaching and counseling the children of students I had 15, 20 years ago, and they're like, my mom used to say you were her favorite teacher back 20 years ago and all this stuff. And you really think, like, wow, I'm really making an impact. Like, maybe what I do does matter. And I think a lot of times we. You know, our demographic is really the most educated demographic. And a lot of times I think we downplay that. We play ourselves small in different spaces.
Vonetta Pierce [:We quiet our voices. You know, even when you said two master's degrees, I kind of.
Alian Ollivierre [:Yeah.
Vonetta Pierce [:Don't tell people that. And I'm like, why not tell people that? Yes, you. You know, You. You have written four books. You have earned two master's degrees. You know, you have certifications, you have all these things. Why do we have to hide? Yeah. To make other people feel comfortable.
Vonetta Pierce [:And just because I am, you know, sharing my accomplishments, it doesn't diminish yours. You know, it does it. It does it. You know, and I think sometimes we just. We. I don't know if it's like a false humility or what, but I'm kind of coming out of that. And I'm saying, you know what? It's okay, like, to acknowledge that, yes, I've earned a couple degrees because a young lady might see that and say, you know what? Oh, I can get. Ms.
Vonetta Pierce [:Veneta got to, you know, master's degrees. I could do that, too. Yes, you can. You know, she overcame this. Yes, I. I know how it was to feel ostracized. I know how it was to feel bullied. I know how it was to.
Vonetta Pierce [:To feel, you know, picked on and teased on and called this and called a nerd and blah, blah, blah, and. And all of that and still overcome, you know, and I think we are doing a community and a generation of disservice when we. When we hide who we truly are and when we hide our accomplishments, because, honestly, it's a blessing. You know, it's. It really is. And I think we dishonor our creator when we. When we try to shrink back and say, well, no, it's not that big of a deal. Well, no, it is, because it's going to help somebody else.
Alian Ollivierre [:Yeah.
Vonetta Pierce [:Yeah. And it's gonna help somebody else. And, you know, and, And. And to that point, even the bad things. I am a full believer now that I've transitioned from the classroom into counseling, being transparent and, you know, of course, within boundaries or whatever, but when helping students, being transparent about your own journey, whether it is, if I'm talking to a young lady and she's struggling with body image or dysmorphia or something like that, and being able to share. I know how it feels to be, you know, 15 years old and look at myself and think, like, oh, my gosh, I don't like how I look or whatever. I'm not going to sit here and think like, oh, I've been this amazing, confident person.
Alian Ollivierre [:Yeah.
Vonetta Pierce [:All my life. No, I haven't. And I think, you know, it's okay to share that. You know, I was just sharing with a young lady in my office yesterday. I'm a senior, and, you know, I was telling her, like, it's okay that so many of you all have this mask of I have to show up as this smart young girl, this girl who has it all together. And I said, and I looked at her in the face, and it's okay if inside you're like, I don't like how I feel right now. I'm humbling, I'm depressed, I'm anxious. And the, you know, that's one thing that has kind of been near and dear to my heart is.
Vonetta Pierce [:Is adolescent mental health. And especially with our young girls of color, it is crazy. Crazy how mental health is impacting our young girls of color. They are showing up as one way, and inside they are depressed, they are anxious, they are traumatized, and we are dismissing them as having an attitude or they need to get themselves together. No, that young lady is anxious. That young lady is going through something. Yeah. And I think as our community, I know over the last couple years, especially since the pandemic, I think our community has now embraced mental health and self care, and therapy is not a bad word in our community anymore.
Vonetta Pierce [:And I think the more we become comfortable with taking care of ourselves, taking care of our mental health, I think that just kind of ripples into other areas of our lives. And then we can show up as our authentic selves. We can not be afraid to be who we are. We can be daring. We can do the things we want to do and accomplish those things without feeling. I have to hide and have to shrink back, and I have to suffer. No, I'm not the only one suffering. And, you know, I tell people, I said, we are so quick to say, oh, how's everything going? Oh, I'm fine.
Vonetta Pierce [:I will tell you. No, I'm not. No, I'm not that fine today.
Alian Ollivierre [:I don't. I don't think everyone wants to hear the truth.
Vonetta Pierce [:No, they don't. They don't. Yeah. And why is that? Why do you. Why do you think? You know, we have to ask ourselves, like, why. Why are we afraid? Yeah, to be.
Alian Ollivierre [:To be vulnerable.
Vonetta Pierce [:Yeah, to be vulnerable. Why are we afraid to let people see who we are? And I think people are attracted to realness into people who can show up authentically. I think people can. They can see the fake. They can. They could start seeing.
Alian Ollivierre [:They start seeing once they're aware of themselves. Absolutely right.
Vonetta Pierce [:And I think that's what draws people to, you know, kindred spirits. People will say, you know what? That that woman is authentic, you know, and even, like, I even loved our connection when, like you said, we connected in the digital Space. Several years ago when I started the organization, and I was just trying to make partnerships with other women who were also in the same space of mentoring young ladies. And I came across your organization, and I said, oh, this is amazing. And I think at one point, our girls were pen pals at one point. And then you and I had conversations, and I was just like, wow, this lady, she's really nice. She's so sweet. Like, she is like the real deal.
Vonetta Pierce [:And sometimes you think, oh, well, you know, she's not gonna talk to me. She's going to be like, who is this American woman reaching out to me? Like, who are you? And then I'm like, no, she's a real person. Yeah, real person. She's real. And it's okay. It's okay. You know, So I think once we break those things down, it just. It just makes, you know, doing everything else easier.
Alian Ollivierre [:It does. You know, and I, I, you know, I think different generations handle different scenarios over time differently. But absolutely, for the most part, we all come to some common ground. And I think that commonality is that we are pretty brilliant as a culture, we are pretty brilliant as women, but we don't always know how to, like, express that and how to own it and accept the brilliance or some of the brilliant things about ourselves. We tend to do a lot of comparing. That level of compar. Yeah, that level of comparison tends to psych ourselves out, you know. Oh, it's not as good as they're doing it.
Alian Ollivierre [:Oh, no, wait. I don't think I have as as high a degree as that person. Oh, no, wait. I don't think I have enough of this and that. And I don't know why that is that we feel like we need to compare when God created us all as, like, unique beings. Like, I don't.
Vonetta Pierce [:Oh, true.
Alian Ollivierre [:You know, unique. Like, there's no one literally on earth like each of us. Right. And so our past, our journeys could never be that. But I have a question for you, though, because some. Actually, I have multiple. But I'll just start with one. Why teaching? What? Like, you know, like, give us some.
Alian Ollivierre [:Some stories.
Vonetta Pierce [:Why teach you?
Alian Ollivierre [:Wow.
Vonetta Pierce [:Well, before I touch on that, but as you were speaking, I. I just want to speak real quick to that comparison. You know, I. You know, for anyone who is tuning into this comparison is the thief of joy. Just remember that. And truly, I have to remind myself of this because I do compare myself. In this space. Nobody, like, there can be 50 people, a thousand women who lead organizations, but nobody can teach certain people or get to a certain young person the way I can do it.
Vonetta Pierce [:You know what I mean? And I think once you get comfortable in that, it's fine. Like, I don't. I don't care that there's 99 other people that are doing what I'm doing. They can't. Somebody's not going to receive it from them the way they're going to receive it from me, right? So we have to just say, you know, there's nobody. No, there's no other Vanet appearance on this earth, so it's okay. Like, you know, there's a. There's a group of people, a group of young people that God made just for me, that can only receive it from me in a certain way.
Vonetta Pierce [:And if they. They're not going to receive it from you. Not to diminish you, but they're not going to receive it from you the way they'll receive it from me. And, you know, Teaching, huh? Believe it or not, I am. I am the daughter of two educators. School District of Philadelphia. I grew up in a household of teachers. My mother was a high school teacher.
Vonetta Pierce [:I mean, papers all around, books all around the house, red pen. I mean, we used to watch the news and correct the grammar of the news anchors. Like, she was like, did you hear them? Like, that is a misplaced modifier. Like, like I could just listen. Like I said, I edit people, like, things in my head. Like, you know, like, if I see a misplaced apostrophe as I'm like, cringe. So it's just so crazy. Like, I'm definitely the daughter of an English teacher.
Vonetta Pierce [:And my father was an elementary school teacher. He was the fun guy. He actually was my PE teacher and my sister's PE teacher for a couple years. So I grew up in a house where I said, I do not want to be a teacher. I'm in a family of teachers. No, thank you. My aunt and uncle were teachers. Everybody's a teacher.
Vonetta Pierce [:No, thank you. And so I was going along in high school, I was always, you know, back in the 80s, it was mentally gifted, right? So I was always like this, you know, in the smarter classes and things like that. And I graduated high school, went to college, scholarship. And when I got to college, in my head, I said, oh, I'm going to do international business. That's what I want, okay? And so did no research, but in my head I said, that's what I want to do. I'm going to show. I'm going to be an economics major. And I got.
Vonetta Pierce [:I took My second economics class got a C. I said, oh, maybe you weren't called to be economics. This is not your thing. So I had always loved Spanish. I always loved Spanish. I did so well in it in high school, and I minored in it, and so I guess kept taking these upper level classes and I majored and I said, oh, this is great. So I just graduated with a Spanish degree and a social work minor. And my first job when I graduated from college was as a bilingual foster care case manager.
Vonetta Pierce [:So it was. It was perfect. I melded the Spanish and social work after about four or five months, you know, and I'm living home. I'm 21, 22 years old, and I'm like, okay, this is. Is great. I get to use my Spanish. I'm doing social services. But I was.
Vonetta Pierce [:I'll be honest, I wasn't really feeling it. I said, no, it's not giving me a lot of joy. So my mother said, you need to go down and get you a job as a teacher. And I said, no, thank you. We're here again. No, she know. I'm like, I don't want to do that. She's like, no, they are hiring critical need areas.
Vonetta Pierce [:And at that time, you know, this is what the mid-90s. At that time, Philadelphia was looking for people with a degree in a. In Spanish, a foreign language or science. Those were high need areas. And so they would hire you without education courses, but you had enough content where you could teach the material.
Alian Ollivierre [:Right?
Vonetta Pierce [:So, long story short, I went, I said, all right, let's try this. I dipped my foot in it. I went, got my master's in teaching. I said, all right. Told myself, I'll do this, still teach and think for about five years. I'm doing something else now, mind you. That was 1996. And here we are.
Alian Ollivierre [:And here we are.
Vonetta Pierce [:And I'm like, you know what? This, having summers off and being off at 3:00'. Clock. Yeah, you know, the benefits, not too bad. And so over time, I just learned to really enjoy teaching. I grew. I grew as an educator. You kind of come into your own as a teacher. You know, you have older veteran teachers who mentor you, and so you kind of feel your way, relearn your way.
Vonetta Pierce [:I dealt with a lot of imposter syndrome, of course, being a Spanish teacher and not being a heritage speaker. So, you know, I had to kind of just be in my. Kind of step into my confidence and say, no, I deserve. I can. I can teach the language, you know, and so overcoming imposter Syndrome. It built my confidence. But as I, you know, as I progress through my teaching career, teaching really allows you to explore your leadership skills. It allows you to, you know, you can do things outside the classroom, you know, coaching, and you, you know, you run groups and student government, and you just kind of learn parts about yourself that you didn't realize, hey, I'm pretty good.
Vonetta Pierce [:Leading a group of students or, hey, you know, I'm developing my public speaking skills. Like, I don't, you know, I talk for a living. Like, it's nothing for me to get up in front of people and talk, because all I do is talk for a living. So I'm a teacher. So, you know, of course you have your. Your years where it's. It's like, why am I doing this? And you ask yourself, are these kids getting anything? And then you have your, you know, you always have. Like I said, those moments for kids come back and they just make you so, so proud.
Vonetta Pierce [:And I actually was blessed. I. I taught in Philly for a couple years, went to Delaware, and I. I taught at, actually a historically black high school in. In Delaware, was actually Martin Luther King spoke on our stage. I mean, it is very. It's on the. The national registry of historic sites and things like that.
Vonetta Pierce [:So it had a lot of proud history. And I thought, this is. This is pretty cool that I'm teaching at a school that has this rich history. And then I transitioned to one of our sister schools for a while and. And I still taught. And then I. I got into student activities coordination to hone my planning, event planner skills and things like that. And then there was a full circle moment.
Vonetta Pierce [:You know, in. In all of these years, I was exploring other avenues. I said, okay, do I still want to teach? I was looking into doing administration. I looked into counseling. I. I even was taking, like, like nursing classes. At the time. I was thinking, do I still want to do this? You know, always, like, feeling myself and always saying, like, what else can I do? Fast forward several.
Vonetta Pierce [:I guess about 14, 15 years ago, I got my counseling degree. And I kind of just sat on it and I got my degree because I felt like students were always coming up to me anyway. I said, well, I should get certified in counselor. I'm like, yeah, I'm a teacher. But kids would come to me and I would say, don't you have a counselor? And they would say, well, I feel more comfortable talking to you. They would just come and talk to me. And so an opportunity presented itself to return to the school that I started at. That I was just telling you about as a counselor, and I said this, this is divine.
Vonetta Pierce [:This has to be God. And so a few years ago, I got the opportunity to return that to that school as a counselor. And I have just learned so much and it's just been great, you know, being able to impact kids and parents and so many stakeholders. So I am, I am really enjoying this whole educator life. Yeah. Yeah.
Alian Ollivierre [:I can't believe thing that stood out to me, you said it twice, in a way, was the impact.
Vonetta Pierce [:Yeah.
Alian Ollivierre [:You know, and it's one of the things that I think sometimes we struggle with because we don't always see the impact glaringly in our face. Right. So whether it's like for myself, like if it's a client, a woman who have helped coach, or a girl who was in a program I, I started, or even for you, like all the students that have been in your classes and in your counseling sessions, sometimes you don't see it immediately or within a month or within a year, or within two years. Sometimes you see the impact when you see them in the world as adults. Right. And you're like, okay, I was a part of that. Right. And so, yeah, you know, my question is, like, what keeps you constantly motivated? Or rather not that, but in the beginning when you didn't see that impact and when you didn't see those results as you would see them now, like, what kept you going in, in the teaching profession?
Vonetta Pierce [:Oh, wow. Yeah. You know what, I think it's important to lean on your colleagues to, to share your struggles. You know, don't be that educator that just shuts their door and is miserable. And it's saying, these kids don't appreciate, why am I here? Don't be that grumpy educator. But you know, allow yourself to be human and to vent your frustrations. Realize that these students and these children that you're dealing with are dealing with things that you did not deal with as a child. So you had to view them through a different lens.
Vonetta Pierce [:You know, you can't teach them the way you were taught. You can't expect from them. You can't expect from them the things that they haven't learned. You know, they, they might not have the skills to communicate. They might not have the self management and self regulatory skills. And you're thinking, like what? Like what is wrong with this student? Or whatever. But you got to remember, this child is being impacted by things that we did not have. They're dealing with things that we didn't have to deal with many years ago.
Vonetta Pierce [:And so I think just keeping that in mind and being sensitive to that, allowing. You have to allow yourself grace. You have to allow the children grace. You got to give them grace. And then you reflect, you think, like you said, you look back. And I look back at a lot of my students now who have made impact in the world, and, you know, and they have just made a mark for themselves in, you know, the arena of athletics or entertainment or social media. You see them, and they are. They are just like, wow.
Vonetta Pierce [:They. I was her teacher. I was his teacher. And I remember with, like, they developed their voice when I had them back in 10th and 11th grade. Now look at them out here in the world being an influencer, being, you know, whatever impact. And like you said, knowing that, you helped plant that seed. And I've had parents of girls in my mentoring group where I would think, is this young lady getting anything out of it? You know, they would come back and say, I have seen a change. They see changes at home that I hadn't seen.
Vonetta Pierce [:I've seen a change in her attitude. I've seen her come out herself. You know, I have my own girls in my mentoring group reflect at the end of the year, and it's good to hear them say things, because sometimes you think they're not. Listen. Nothing is penetrating. Am I wasting my time? Like, are you here with me? And I've had girls just say, I have grown so much. You have made me feel so confident. You and the other mentors, the other leaders allow me to feel comfortable with who I am.
Vonetta Pierce [:So things that they were. They might not be so willing to express. You know, when you dig a little bit, they will. They will admit that, yes, there is an impact. And. Yes. And to me, that. That means all the world.
Vonetta Pierce [:Like, if I can help a young lady feel more confident, if I know that I made a difference in helping this young lady who never wanted to talk, to advocate, and she knows what advocacy. She knows how to speak up for herself. She knows how to express her needs. She knows how to talk to other people and make friends and look at people in the eye and not feel like you don't deserve to have a friend or you don't deserve to talk to people and nobody likes you. No. And to feel pretty and to feel confident, you know, no matter their size or shape or whatever, I think that has a lasting impact. You know, it does. And it's so important.
Vonetta Pierce [:It's so important. Our young people need to see. They need to see us model things for them because someone did it. For us.
Alian Ollivierre [:Listen, I, you know, is a. It's interesting because my next question would have been to you. What have you done? So let's talk about Bonetta. What have you done to lead yourself so that that example could be the influence others try to learn from and mirror?
Vonetta Pierce [:Yeah. I think the number one thing is I always consider myself a work in progress. I had not arrived. So I always feel like there is always something I could be learning, something I could be doing something, another skill I could be honing something about myself that I could just be making better. That's one thing is just the constant self improvement, self reflection. In recent years, I have really learned the art of slowing down and understanding the importance of rest. The importance of slowing down, the importance of. Of just allowing yourself to.
Vonetta Pierce [:Allowing yourself to. To have the grace and the space that you need so that you could show up for others better. You know, so that you can, as my mom used to say, like, not ripping and running all over the place and not, you know, just learn how to just slow down so that you can be better. Because you really can't pour from an empty cup, you know, And I've no. People hear this. You. And I had to get. I got to a point where I felt like.
Vonetta Pierce [:And. And I'll be honest, my. My other ladies in my organization, other people. Friends, have had to stop me and say, you are always pouring. Yeah. And other people slow down. Slow. Step back, step back.
Vonetta Pierce [:And as I have started, you know, I stopped feeling guilty. Yeah. For not pouring. Because I used to feel. I don't know. If this ever happens to you, I would feel guilty for not being busy. Like, I would feel guilty. Like, why am I not doing something?
Alian Ollivierre [:Yeah.
Vonetta Pierce [:No, you can now. I unapologetically will just rest and do nothing. And I'm not doing anything. And. No, it's a complete sentence. I'm not doing it. No, I don't want to stop. I don't want to.
Vonetta Pierce [:I'm resting.
Alian Ollivierre [:Yeah.
Vonetta Pierce [:No, my calendar.
Alian Ollivierre [:And.
Vonetta Pierce [:And I think I was just so. I think I was so enamored by hep. Being booked and busy because we are in this grind culture. And I don't know if you've heard of the book Rest is Resistance. Yes. By Trisha here. That whole movement just kind of shifted things for me because we really, especially women, especially women of color have gotten into this. We have to be a workforce.
Vonetta Pierce [:We've got to do this and that, improve and this and that, and show up and we're exhausted, and then we can't take Care of our health and then we're showing up, you know, no, I want to be mentally and physically healthy. I can't just do all this stuff and now.
Alian Ollivierre [:And you want to be that for as long as possible.
Vonetta Pierce [:Exactly. I need to do that so I can, I can have a long and healthy life. And if I keep showing up and doing this and staying late and doing all of that, I'm too tired to cook a healthy meal. I'm too tired, you know, to go do a Zumba class which is going to, you know, make me feel better, you know, raise my endorphins. And so there's a little bit of selfishness. I wouldn't even say selfishness, but putting yourself first a little bit. You have to, you have.
Alian Ollivierre [:I think Yolanda said it where she said is not selfish, it's selfful. And I think it's important to not feel that guilt.
Vonetta Pierce [:I, I don't know, I think multiple.
Alian Ollivierre [:Layers of titles that we are, that is thrown at us, whether it's mother and wife and partner, all these different things also put us in a, in a box of doing for others and nurturing. That concept of we are nurturers also has planted the seed that it means everything is outward. We are doing it for everyone else, but we don't also realize that we have to nurture ourselves. And there are things that we have to do for ourselves in order to be self full. So we could start to pour for other people.
Vonetta Pierce [:Absolutely.
Alian Ollivierre [:So it's not selfish at all. And even if it's selfish, who cares?
Vonetta Pierce [:Right, Right, right.
Alian Ollivierre [:Who cares?
Vonetta Pierce [:And I think our mothers did it for us. I think maybe that's what we saw. Yeah. So, you know, and we feel like.
Alian Ollivierre [:We need to carry on a mantle. But they were tired too and they needed a break too. And just because older generations, past generations, we've seen it, doesn't mean we have to replicate it. A lot of the values from it, you know, I believe in, in the value of caring for community. That's a big thing. But the I am in the community. So if I'm a part of the community, it means taking care of me too.
Vonetta Pierce [:That's right. That's right. That's right. Yeah, that, that is such a good point. And one of the principles in, in my girls group is getting a grip on the world around you. And so that is, you know, I know a lot of focus when we're mentoring young people is, you know, let's focus on health and wellness and goal setting and things like that, but citizenship and Knowing that you are part of something bigger is something that I like to try to instill in our girls. And your organization was a part of that because, you know, connecting with girls in the Caribbean, knowing, hey there, I have a sisterhood, there are other young ladies across the water, across the seas, across the world, who, hey, they, they enjoy the same things I enjoy. They, you know, they might go through the same things that I go through.
Vonetta Pierce [:Knowing that you are, you are part of something bigger and making an impact of that. You know, we've had recent elections here, you know, in the States and things like that. And those conversations would come into our mentoring group meetings because although my girls are young, you know, middle and high school, I wanted them to know, like, hey, you are still a part of the decisions that are being made and your voice still matters and decisions that are being made and these elections and things that are happening in our countries, how does that impact you? What is, what, where do you see yourself? I want them to see that you, hey, you are, you are part of this community, you know, and so I think when once our young people know that they are a part of something bigger, it kind of shifts. It'll shift things for them. They won't be in this self, this mode of just me, me, me. No, it's more, I have a brother, I have a sister, I have, I'm responsible. I have to be responsible for someone else. I have to reach back.
Vonetta Pierce [:You know, I try to encourage my girls who go through the program, like come back and talk to the younger girls. You know, you might be, maybe you're 20, 21 years old, but you remember what it was like to be 12 years old in my program. Come on back and talk to them. What can you pour into them? And so just knowing that, hey, your voice matters to a girl who's five or six years younger than you, that's community right there. And I think the more like you said, the more we just keep allowing that to happen, the, the better it'll be. Yeah, because we need that.
Alian Ollivierre [:Yeah, I really, really love that. So my question to you coming out of all of this, like, you know, you've been an educator, done a brilliant job. Clearly you've been transitioning through different roles in the education space. You've created organizations, you've written books. Looks. Let's just applaud what is happening. Okay, so what would 10 year old Vanetta say? Oh, what would that little girl who had all these dreams, I'm sure, and all these hopes and the things, the vision that this Little girl had. What would she be saying about you right now?
Vonetta Pierce [:Wow. She probably would say, girl, look at what you can do. Like, oh my gosh, like, why are you worried? I think 10 year old me was so worried about like the wrong things or so just like, oh, you know, does this person like me? Am I this, I'm too bad or to this or too that? And I'm worried about this and, or, you know, what can I do? What can I not do? And, and I think 10 year old me would say, you know what, Banetta, just keep on keeping on, just keep on, keep on doing, you know, step out and do the things that are uncomfortable. I didn't want to be a writer. I never said I wanted to be a writer. I honestly wrote a book because I said, I wonder if I can write a book. And I, you know, it was the whole imposter syndrome. Like, you are not an author.
Vonetta Pierce [:Who do you think you are? What? And you know, it was learning to like step out to people and just, you know, I started asking, hey, you know, when I wrote my first book, I actually contacted the author and said, oh, your story just intrigues me. You know, we're both from Philadelphia. Can you tell me about your process? And I'm thinking, this other author, she's probably like, what? I don't know her, but. And it was the same thing with you. Like, she reached out and said, oh, blah, blah, blah, this is what I did. And so I just did it. And I said, well, that was, let me just keep going through this process. And then to hold a product in my hand, I said, oh, that's lovely.
Vonetta Pierce [:I wonder if I could do that again. And then I just, you know, when I wrote the book for young people that, you know, get a grip and that how my organization came to be. I wrote a book first for young people as a teacher. So I wrote a book saying, you know, what would I tell my students? These are, these are things that I think, you know, haven't been in education at by the. I think when I written Get a Grip, I probably had already been in education at least about 15 years or so. Right. So, you know, I had a lot of years under my belt and I said, you know what, I am going to just write about, you know, what I would tell a young person. And little did I know that it was needed.
Vonetta Pierce [:And I said, oh, wow. And it was actually prophesied to me that that would become an organization. Like it was just, you know, I wrote the book and, and I was told like that is a group like, that can be young people.
Alian Ollivierre [:Right.
Vonetta Pierce [:And then here we go. Years later, I said, well, I wonder if other people, other women in my community would be interested in getting together and let's, you know, mentor girls. Let me just see. And thank God for social media. Honestly, everything I've done, you know, has been like, because of Facebook, you know, I would just put something out, and thankfully, as an educator, my. My circle of influence has just gotten, you know, it's pretty large. And so I would just put something out there and people would say, oh, I saw your post, or, oh, yeah, I'm interested. And then you find your tribe, you find other people who are committed to your vision, and then you just.
Vonetta Pierce [:You. You kind of. You look, the vision is bigger than you, so that kind of allows you to shed the fear, you know, because it's more important. And that when I. When I started my group, I had a. A daughter who was, you know, the age to be in the group, you know, so at the time, you know, here I am with a teenager. And so I'm like, yeah, I know this work is important because I'm raising a girl who would belong in this group. And so, you know, just seeing this is needed.
Vonetta Pierce [:This is important. People need to hear this. Young people need to hear what I have to say. And having other people join in and say, you know what, yeah, I agree. Let me help you. And using that to fuel and to move forward. And in those times, there have been moments, and I'm sure you've been there as a leader, where I've said, yeah, I don't. I don't know if I want to do this for you.
Vonetta Pierce [:Yeah, I don't know. I'm getting a little. I don't know. Is this working? And then that's when you have to get your iron sharpening. Iron. And that's right. You know, I have my. I have my ladies who sharpen me and that they keep you moving forward.
Vonetta Pierce [:And you never let. You never let what you see in front of you determine the value of what you're doing. You know, sometimes it could throw you off.
Alian Ollivierre [:It could. Because who you have, you. Your community. And when I say community, I mean the immediate circle or network around you.
Vonetta Pierce [:Yeah.
Alian Ollivierre [:Creates that safety net. Because I think as a leader, you kind of need to understand who you have around you and have that circle of trust and persons who have different skills that could say, well, actually, Ali, you know, not quite like that, you know.
Vonetta Pierce [:Yes.
Alian Ollivierre [:And are able to also tell you when you're going wrong. Tell you when you're misstepping, challenge you to see it in a different perspective. Not just yes people. Right. I always say to anyone who would listen, to be honest, your network is the sum total of your net worth. And who you surround yourself with creates the value that you are as a leader. And so if you don't have that solid network, if you don't have find them, fight, figure the, figure it out. Because you need people.
Alian Ollivierre [:Leadership isn't about anything other than people. So how can you lead without them?
Vonetta Pierce [:That's right. So. Right. And I'm so glad you said that. Not having yes people and knowing. Knowing your lane. Right. Knowing your strength.
Alian Ollivierre [:Knowing your strength. Yeah.
Vonetta Pierce [:Getting people in your circle who are strengthened or who are graced in areas that you may not be. Yeah. Right. And I know, you know, I know that I am not grace. I'll just use a little silly example like I am not a spreadsheet person. I am not a that. I don't do data, I don't do numbers, I don't do columns and all that kind of stuff. Now if you need me to create a lesson, I got you.
Vonetta Pierce [:You need me to do the razzle dazzle. I can do all of that. But I, I know, I know my limit. Right. So I have people around me who can, who can do the things that I'm not comfortable in. And I am confident enough, I'm secure enough where I can yield things to other people. Because I'll be honest, as a leader, I, I also am guilty. Have been guilty.
Vonetta Pierce [:Trying to get better and not being like a. I could do it all myself. I got this, I got this. I got this. I'm really, I am really trying to say, to learn how to delegate, to learn how to say and let go. Let's go, let's do that part.
Alian Ollivierre [:Okay.
Vonetta Pierce [:It's hard to let go of your baby. It's hard to let go. Yeah. That is so hard because you think no one can do it as self. It's nature or no one is going to love it like I'm going to love. They're not going to nurture this baby the way I would. Yeah. And you have to be comfortable enough and okay enough to say, you know, it's, it's, it's, let me give the baby to someone else to help me.
Vonetta Pierce [:You know, I'm not giving up my rights. I'm not saying, here you go, take the baby and run them up and do what you want. But. No, but I trust you to handle this part. And I know how to gracefully step in and offer input. And I know how to gracefully step away. Yeah. And that.
Vonetta Pierce [:That takes growth and it takes maturity and it takes. It takes time. It doesn't happen quickly for everybody, for everyone. No, it doesn't.
Alian Ollivierre [:I don't think leadership is one. Any particular way or one. Any particular path. I don't think there's one formula for how you should lead and can lead, whether you're leading yourself or you're leading others. But my. One of my final questions to you would be if you could sum up leadership, if you could put a finger on, like, these are some key things that no matter what, you need to make sure if you want to be a good leader, that is.
Vonetta Pierce [:Yeah.
Alian Ollivierre [:These are some key things that must come to the table with you. What would those be?
Vonetta Pierce [:Right. Wow. Great question. So definitely, as a leader, you have to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. You have to learn that everything is not going to be comfortable, if that. Whatever that looks like. Does that mean you might be losing sleep or, you know, you might not get a lot of sleep one night or you might be inconvenienced because as the leader, you might have to step in and do, you know, take care of something that maybe wasn't taken care of. So you might be uncomfortable.
Vonetta Pierce [:You might have to make a decision that doesn't make you comfortable. So that's one thing is being comfortable with being uncomfortable because that's where the growth happens. Right? Right. Second thing I think is just learning to lead with confidence. Right. And trusting your inner self. I think trust yourself. Trust what you know because you know what you know.
Vonetta Pierce [:You. Yeah. And it's okay. Don't. You don't have to doubt, just trust. And definitely, you know, back to what you said, like, avoid the comparison trap at all costs. You know, synergy is energy. Someone said that to me before.
Vonetta Pierce [:Like, don't be afraid to connect. I think we get into this competition over collaboration. Right. And I need to. I think as a leader, we all need to see the value in collaborative efforts. See the value in learning, being teachable. Yeah, Right. Learning from others, connecting with others.
Vonetta Pierce [:Because when you bring your forces together, you might be committed to the same vision and you can have greater impact. And not feeling like I have to exist in this little tube and isolate and it's only me and my organization and.
Alian Ollivierre [:Right.
Vonetta Pierce [:Nope. Hey, they're doing. You have the same vision. What happens if you come together? You might make an impact and be okay with that, and it doesn't diminish who you are as a Leader. And it doesn't diminish who this other person is as a leader. But you're coming together and you're celebrating each other. So I think those are just, you know, some things just to. Just to keep in mind is don't be afraid to collaborate.
Vonetta Pierce [:You know, there is power in coming together. Trust your voice, trust yourself. Avoid that comparison. And just, you know, be ready for the discomfort, be ready for the hard things, and then give yourself grace and give yourself rest. You know, stay teachable.
Alian Ollivierre [:Some parts.
Vonetta Pierce [:So many things, but give yourself. Be teachable.
Alian Ollivierre [:Oh, dear.
Vonetta Pierce [:Learn. Yeah. And it's always something. And even this. This experience right here is really stepping out of my comfort zone. This is something that I said, oh, well, who wants to hear what I have to say? Like, I don't need a. I don't. You know, I was thinking, you know, when you extended the invitation, I was so, you know, I was honored.
Vonetta Pierce [:I said, oh, she sees me as a leader. I'm a leader. I mean, yes. I mean, I don't know. I'm just like a Spanish teacher that became a counselor, and I run a group for girls. Like, I don't think of myself in that. And you have to be comfortable that other people view you in a way that sometimes we don't view ourselves the way others view us. And.
Vonetta Pierce [:And. And people see a light on us that we don't see ourselves because we're blind. We're blind to it. And so, you know, at seeing myself, it kind of validated me when you. When you said. When you invited me here, I said, oh, I thought.
Alian Ollivierre [:You are a leader. So say it from the rooftop.
Vonetta Pierce [:Stay with your chest, as the kids would say, like, it's okay. With your whole. Like it's okay. And like you said, maybe what I have said today, maybe there was a woman listening who was thinking about going into leadership, starting a business. You know, I've been there, you know, starting businesses and not being afraid to fail.
Alian Ollivierre [:That's right.
Vonetta Pierce [:I've done it all, you know? Yes. I've written books, I've done T shirt businesses that I've done things. Sometimes I've done really well, Sometimes I didn't do so great. And I kept going. I would have meetings with girls, and I would have a room full of girls, and then I would have. There would be some Saturdays where I would have low attendance. And I wouldn't say, oh, well, I must be doing the wrong thing. No, you don't.
Vonetta Pierce [:You don't go by what you see. You just go by what you Believe, Right. You go about the vision. You're not. I'm not moved by what I'm seeing in front of me. I moved by the vision that I believe because I know what is here is, is, is, is, Is real. And I'm committed to that. And those little negative voices, those little voices in your head will tell you, no, no, this is not.
Vonetta Pierce [:Man, this is not your thing. Maybe you should try something else. So when you learn how to shut those voices down, this is. No, I know what I'm doing. And moving past the negativity and the self doubt, you. You just become stronger. You become stronger. You really do.
Vonetta Pierce [:And it's a daily thing. It's a weekly thing. Sometimes you have to keep doing it. Sometimes you get to this point and you say, okay, here we go again. I gotta encourage myself. Yeah. I might have to lift myself up. Okay, Vanetta, let me get back.
Vonetta Pierce [:Let's get back to. Let's make the main thing. The main thing.
Alian Ollivierre [:Yeah.
Vonetta Pierce [:What are we doing? And remind yourself who you are.
Alian Ollivierre [:Yeah.
Vonetta Pierce [:And people are watching you. Yes. Always. People are watching you.
Alian Ollivierre [:To moments. We kind of recognize. We kind of recognize it ourselves. But we need reminders sometimes from others. Not that we need others for validation, but sometimes we need.
Vonetta Pierce [:Yeah.
Alian Ollivierre [:And to hear and to know. Like, okay, yeah, that's a big deal.
Vonetta Pierce [:Yeah, Right, right, right. For sure. For sure. And. And don't be afraid to, you know, compliment others. I am. You know, and I love us, especially as black women, because we will compliment each other. We will big up each other.
Vonetta Pierce [:And I think that is so important for us to say, you know what? Since you did a good job, I love that. Like, I. Look, I said, okay. Okay. John Maxwell, introducing. Okay. And so looking at Allie's, at your page, and I'm like, wow, she is doing amazing things. So, you know, you're amazing.
Vonetta Pierce [:I'm looking at all that you're doing and I'm like, you better go. You better. Okay. You better be a voice. You better. Come on, let me. You better do that. And so I just love that, like you said, because sometimes you just need to hear it.
Vonetta Pierce [:You need to dig up yourself and you need to big up your. Your sis and the. And, and, and. And those around you.
Alian Ollivierre [:It's very.
Vonetta Pierce [:The young people you got. You have to. Because they might not. Somebody might not hear it from anybody else. True.
Alian Ollivierre [:And it's funny because sometimes I feel like those we love and those who surround us, especially those who are positive in our space, they might tell us, but we don't believe Them. We sometimes take it from a stranger more than we would our own because.
Vonetta Pierce [:Oh, absolutely.
Alian Ollivierre [:Sometimes feel like, oh, you're supposed to say that. You're absolutely supposed to.
Vonetta Pierce [:Absolutely. I use. My friends might say something or my brother or somebody might say, you, you know, you're so great. I'm like, okay, okay, girl. My brother. You're supposed to say that. Or you're my best friend. Yes.
Vonetta Pierce [:Someone else says it. It's like, oh, wait. Well, thank you.
Alian Ollivierre [:So with that said to just close out as we start to wrap up.
Vonetta Pierce [:Yeah.
Alian Ollivierre [:What is one thing, any woman out here who's listening to this at least episode. Any girl who's not sure even transitioning into adulthood, what's one message you want to leave with them?
Vonetta Pierce [:Oh, yeah. One message is find your tribe and honor them and protect it. Right. Protect it because it's. It's going to feed you there. It's going to be there when you need it. Yeah. You'll.
Vonetta Pierce [:You pour into them and they'll pour into you. Because we were not created to be isolated beings. We were created for community. Right. We were created to. To be around others. And so I know it's easy to isolate. I know it's easy to just be so inner focused.
Alian Ollivierre [:Yeah.
Vonetta Pierce [:But find your. It doesn't have to be big. You're trying to be one or two other people. Just have a circle. Have people who you trust who have the same vision and goals as you and who are moving in the same direction as you. And I would say that, yeah, definitely find your tribe and honor it. Yeah.
Alian Ollivierre [:Thank you so much for that. Thank you so much for being a guest.
Vonetta Pierce [:Oh, thank you for inviting me. Yeah.
Alian Ollivierre [:I think you are awesome. I think there's a lot of leadership that we see in ourselves that needs to be out there in the world because we don't know who we will impact by just simply saying that we are leaders. Right. And so I really appreciate you being on the episode. I love the unlearning sometimes that we have to do as leaders. And I think it's important. Yes. Ditto to finding your tribe, finding who works for you and remembering that sometimes it changes as our seasons step forward.
Vonetta Pierce [:Some people have.
Alian Ollivierre [:Sometimes they go and sometimes they're added and sometimes it's a brand new, you.
Vonetta Pierce [:Know, never be the smartest person in your tribe. Right. I tell myself, if you're the smartest person in your group, you need to find another group or you need to find another group. Be the smartest.
Alian Ollivierre [:Okay. You know, be smart.
Vonetta Pierce [:Don't be the smartest one. Don't be the richest one.
Alian Ollivierre [:Right?
Vonetta Pierce [:Yeah, for sure. I agree. Or yeah.
Alian Ollivierre [:And so I just want to commend you for all the work that you've been doing 30 years in education.
Vonetta Pierce [:Thank you.
Alian Ollivierre [:Is amazing in itself because I don't feel like we. There's a whole different conversation. We'll have another podcast for this, but I feel like we don't have enough longevity and continuity in the teaching profession and those who actually, truly, truly care. And it's not just a paycheck. And to see you extend that beyond your role in education and create an organization that serves girls, I think is brilliant and amazing. And so I commend you for that. Where. And I'm sure the girls who've gone through your program and those who will come into your program will also have the same impact.
Alian Ollivierre [:So until next time and until next episode, I hope you guys listen and understand what this leadership looks like, because we have some brilliant women around the world and in the space showcasing what girls and women have to offer. So thank you once again and until next episode, guys, we will see you soon. Now, if this episode spoke to you, share it. Don't keep it a secret. Don't gatekeep. Send it to that woman who you know needs to hear. You are not alone, and your leadership still matters. I'll repeat that.
Alian Ollivierre [:You are not alone and your leadership matters. And wherever you listen, please subscribe to the leadership podcast or head on over to our website, theleadhershift.com to connect with us there. This movement is about more than just leadership. It's about building something better. I'd love to hear your story, because your voice matters, you know, because the world is ready for your authority. The question is, are you.
